Dear Friends

I wish I was here to write you something that will give you comfort or peace.  The kind of post that you share on your Facebook wall and it moves like a domino train from person to person.  Today I find no peace or fresh feeling.  I slept terribly last night partially because I ended up with both my children in bed kicking me and mostly because I was able to still feel my children's physical presence.  What happened yesterday is something I can not mentally unpack as a mother or former teacher.  I have avoided watching basically any of the news footage,but thoughts and images still creep in.  I think of the backpacks with freshly packed lunches.  Had the children already done their circle time? Were they excited for a classmate's birthday cupcakes later in the day or to go to recess on a crisp December afternoon?  Did one of the mother's force her little one to go assuring them that it was Friday and they would have the weekend to enjoy each others company?  Did they hurry out the door because someone was dawdling?  I feel haunted and heavy today.  I wish I could be a beacon of light for my children, strong with faith but instead I feel like a cloud of doom is hanging overhead.  I will pray for the families, but can not even imagine how they could face a new day without their babies.  I pray that those little souls are up in heaven and can send comfort to their families still here.